Wedding Ceremony of Mel + Eva

Wedding Ceremony of Mel + Eva


Wedding season is upon us and I’ve been as busy as a parole officer in Narre Warren.

But despite the frenzy of the past month, I’d been looking forward to Mel and Eva’s wedding for some time.

 Mel and Eva at Hedgend Maze, Yarra Valley

Mel and Eva at Hedgend Maze, Yarra Valley

You wanna party? These two are your ticket. They’ll go all through the night – until every last can of JD has been skulled, stomped and kicked to the curb.

That’s their rep. That’s who they are. And God damn their wedding lived up to all expectations. And then some more. And then a whole bunch on top of that.

The setting was the gorgeous Hedgend Maze in the Yarra Valley. Holy mother of mercy what a setting –  arguably the most picturesque of my 120 odd weddings. The pictures don’t do it justice. They really don’t.

The following words probably don’t do Mel and Eva justice, either. But let’s give it a go.

They first met in the now defunct DnM – a nightclub known for its sticky floors, drag shows, and enough RnB to choke a small donkey.

And it was within these shadowy walls that it all went down – from lighting up in the beer garden to mouthing I f%^king love you from across the d-floor.

Just before ceremony time - Hedgend Maze Yarra Valley Melbourne

This was followed up by the first ‘I love you’ note.  Written, in fact, on what can only be described as a dirty receipt from Macca’s.

  • two medium sprites

  • a cheeseburger

  • six pack of McNuggets

  • I love you.

The last of which being written in Drunk Times Roman.

And so the adventures continued, across the USA and into a house in Melbourne’s north.

Their ceremony paralleled their time together – complete with a Jimmy Barnes / Tina Turner ditty, a flash dance, and a dog named Billy – also affectionately known as shitdog.

It was the Prisoner of Azkaban of weddings. And the perfect way to officially declare their fondness for one another.

I couldn’t have been happier to play a small part in it.