March Weddings - A Stand-up Recap (part 1)

I have a brother-in-law. His name is Gary. Every Sunday night we sit down, grab a beer and try to guess the nationalities of the people being saved on Bondi Rescue.

I always thought this would be my favourite thing in the world to do.

Much to the annoyance of handsome Gary, it now comes a close second behind being a celebrant.

The month of March has consolidated my fondness for marrying people. It’s been busier than the line at Yah Yah’s on a Saturday night. I have had 12 in three weeks. And I loved every single God damn one of them.

I figure I’d make this blog monthly. This allows me to focus on meeting couples and writing scripts. 

It’s also allowed more time to move apartments! I’ve shifted down the road to East Melbourne. I’m such a high class snob now. Last week I cooked a scotch fillet and sprinkled it with something called ‘paprika’. I know right!

Anyways, the weddings of the past few weeks have been sensational.

I’ll begin within Sam and Lauren. My heavens. It wasn’t a wedding - it was an event. African drummers, bagpipes, a scotch stand. The videographer had the best pixie haircut seen since Mia Farrow from Rosemary’s Baby. Great, great movie btw. She was super cute, too.

Do all girls/women go through a pixie hair cut stage?

Sam and Lauren are such wonderful folk - they invited me to stay afterwards and, to be brutally honest, I took full advantage of that. Man, when they brought out the Espresso Martinis I started doing cartwheels across the dancefloor. I’m pretty sure I knocked out a waiter.

The doctor’s tell me he’s stable but will never be the same.

Below is a pic of Sam and I. Unbeknownst to Lauren it was taken just after we’d snuck off to a nearby bush to make out. He was very gentle.


There was also Thomay and Darren. Oh man, seriously, awesome couple. During my initial meeting with I was supposed to chat for a half an hour. I ended up crashing the night and staying the week. They even let me take over their business for a while.

It’s in recession now.

Thomay and Darren make the ideal partnership. Thomay’s calm demeanour perfectly complements Darren’s manic behaviour. He’s lovably crazy. One time he tried to knock down the front fence. Another time he nearly burnt down their house. I really dig his style.

Oh, and how about Bianka and Palmer? Two young legends who had the sweetest backyard shin-dig.

Bianka always wanted to date a sk8tr boi. And man, she got one! Palmer can hit that back flip, hand-plant, nose-grind better than Tony Hawk himself. Even better than my brother-in-law Gary!
Gary sure likes skateboards.

LOOOVE those guys. Invite me to one of your house parties. Seriously. I’m 31 but I can still pull off a triple drop.

Then there was the shin dig with Brett and Ali at Avalon Castle. Ali’s dress was amaze! The scenery was amaze. The whole setup was yum as. The heat was also on and they handled it with poise, precision and chuckles. Next time I visit you guys in Drouin we are getting a burger.

I’ll cap part one off with two amazingly awesome and crazily attractive folks – Nat and Nick. We don’t have proms but if we did Nat would’ve been the prom queen. And not one of those snobby prom queens either. One of those cool, down to earth ones. She’s one right off the top shelf. 

And Nick… man, what a character! People were cheering him even before things kicked off. He loves a gamble but there was NO gamble in tying the knot with Nat! Oh that doesn’t do either of them justice. I’m rolling with it anyway.

Arghhh fun overload. I can’t WAIT for part 2. Can you?

Probably. Yeah, you probably can.

But I sure can’t.