The Ceremony of Magda + Kristof

As soon as I met Magda and Kristof I wanted to become Polish. 

I mean, I love being Italian. The food, the passion, the hairy chest. I dig it. But there was something God damn intangibly lovely about these two that made me want to throw it all away.

I met them during a brutal Winter’s night at the Windsor castle. I know this establishment well as it is where I used to meet my High School friend Kate Jarred for pie night.

From the outset I noticed Magda and Kristof were worried. They didn’t have a celebrant and needed someone young and refreshingly handsome. 

They soon gave up that criteria and went with yours truly.

I’m glad they did. Boy it was fun.

The setting was Camp Sunnystones, usually an area reserved for Grade 5 camp. I cried at my Grade 5 camp because I missed my Mum. 

Sunnystones is also in Bacchus Marsh, which my yodeling country friend Damian Hester advised me is halfway to Ballarat and is thus a euphemism for a male being half aroused.

The ceremony took place at the bottom of a valley that was cornered by a small pond and a scattering of saplings. Delicious.

I trekked down a little early with Magda and Kristof as well as their photographer (Magda’s bro). Suddenly an enormous racket came from atop of the hill.

Rolling down it was a crusade of Polish relatives / vikings who had been liquoring up for several hours prior. 

They unleashed several Polish anthems as made their way down. I didn’t know if they were there for the ceremony or if we were about to be plundered. 

Memories of missing Mum came flooding back.

Of course, they turned out to be an amazing bunch. 

Together we wielded through the story of Magda and Kristof – from meeting in scout school to their first time at Rainbow to discovering that Kristof had a crush on Magda for nearly a decade prior to asking her out.

It’s a lesson we can all take heed. I like this girl at my ‘other’ work but I’m holding back on the hope we both get drunk during Friday night drinks and our contraception doesn’t work.

Both Kristof and Magda were concerned with their vows but they nailed it. Boy they did bloody well. 

You can tell by the reactions of their friends and family how much they mean to them. You can’t fake that type of genuineness. 

A huge thanks to a great man – who I’ve forgotten the name of – who helped me cart my equipment back up the hill.

He has two daughters and gave up smoking just for them. Legend. Plus without his help I may still be stuck down in that valley.

Unless I went to Polish scout school I wouldn’t get to meet a duo like Magda and Kristof. 

That’s why I enjoy being a celebrant. It’s more than the fame or the MD caps or the millions upon millions of dollars. It’s to get to know people like them and their families.

I’m off to trade in lasagne for some pierogi.

Do widzenia everyone.